Dynamic Vibrations

I cannot live in silence.

My whole life I have spent in the constant clamor of sound in some form or another. As the 5th born in a family of nine I have never found any peace in my room which I have always shared. I have slept so long with a fan whirling and air purifier blowing, that I cannot sleep without some kind of constant drone going on. Even in the bathroom I have to have a fan running or the flowing sound of water from a sink or a bathrub.

Music for the sake of it's own sound was something I never really listened to as a child. Almost all of my family members sing or play the piano or some other instrument. My elder sisters were always either bickering, singing, talking, or laughing their heads off. My brothers talk, and talk talk. They play with their imagination, and often times express it in their words as they have done chores and what not.

My mother is a shrieker. Her varying cries range so far in pitch and random staccatos.
My father is a droner. He is quiet about what he does, humming evenly words in constant legato.

Now I find myself shut up in my room with my door closed blasting melodic metal at room vibrating volumes through my 50$ Philips speakers plugged into my laptop, washing myself in the waves of sound.

This is about as close to peace as I come.